The Totally Secret, Not so Secret Relationship
by HollyWoodFix
Summary: Zoro and Sanji's relationship was a complete and total secret…the only problem was that everybody knew. The only one's who didn't know that everybody knew was Zoro and Sanji themselves, both of them thinking their sneaking around skills were top notch. Warning: contains minor yaoi.


**A/N: This is just a fun little one-shot I thought up. It's unbeat'd so I apologize for any mistakes. This also contains mild yaoi, so you have been warned. I hope you enjoy, and would love to hear any thoughts.**

 **The Totally Secret, Not so Secret Relationship**

Everybody knew. You would literally have to be blind not to see it. It was even obvious to those who were considered 'the slower' members of the crew. Yup, everybody knew, and they had known for a while.

The only ones who didn't seem to realize everybody knew, were the two actually involved in the relationship in question. They were still under the impression that they had kept it masterfully hidden from those around them. That their sneaking around skills were top notch, and that their lies were iron clad. Yup, they were the masters of stealth, and there was no way anyone knew their secret.

Robin was the first one to figure it out. Not only was she pretty perceptive when it came to things around her, but it didn't hurt that she could place ears or eyes anywhere she wanted. She hadn't meant to witness such an intimate moment, and was merely trying to figure out who kept borrowing her books and left them lying all over the floor. What she had seen instead was the swordsman slamming the cook up against the book self, the cooks legs wrapped around the swordsman's waist, and their lips had been attached together. She realized what was going on quickly and removed the set of eyes she had placed there…but not before she saw a bunch of her books fall to the ground because of what the two of them had been doing. At least she managed to solve that mystery…

Chopper found out because he had been doing a physical exam on Sanji after a particularly tough battle, and saw a few 'lovebites' on his chest and neck, something which Chipper assumed he didn't receive during the battle. Sanji hadn't said anything, assuming Chopper was too innocent to realize what they were, and assumed the small reindeer would just think they were bruises. Chopper played along and didn't say anything, but he wasn't stupid…he was a doctor dammit! So he decided to find out for himself who exactly gave the cook those marks. He knew it probably wasn't any of his business, but since the marks were fresh and they hadn't landed on any islands recently, that meant that Sanji was intimately involved with one of their fellow nakama, and he couldn't help but be curious. He figured it had to be either Robin or Nami, and couldn't believe either of the women would actually fall for the cook's advances. He kept a close eye on the cook, and even though he had been told he wasn't the best at hiding, his small size worked to his advantage and he was able to sneak around with relative ease. He finally got the opportunity he had been waiting for when after dinner one night he stayed behind and slipped into the pantry. Sanji was alone in the kitchen cleaning up when Chopper heard somebody else enter, and could hear the click of the door being locked. He could hear hushed words between Sanji and his mystery companion, and knew that this was his opportunity to finally find out, was it Robin or Nami? The small reindeer, as quietly as he could, moved a box so he could stand on it and peak through the window on the pantry door. And what he saw was not what he had been expecting…he had to cover his mouth to keep to keep from screaming out in surprise. And for the next 20 minutes after that, Chopper curled up on the floor, doing everything he could to cover his ears, deeply regretting his decision to pry into the cook's affairs.

Nami found out one day when the ship had docked on a small island. The crew went their separate ways for the day, Nami deciding to get in some well deserved shopping. She had just left her third shoe store when she spotted the green-haired swordsman and the blonde cook across the street. She thought it was weird that the two of them would choose to spend their day together, especially since the two couldn't seem to stand each other when they were on the ship. Her curiosity peaked when she saw the two of them enter a small, run-down, hotel…what could the two of them possibly be up to? She knew she wouldn't be satisfied until she found out the truth, and entered the hotel after them. It took a few bats of her eyelashes, and gentle caresses of the arm of the man at the front desk, to find out what room the two were in. She found the room, and was about to knock, when her body froze in place at the sounds she heard…were those moans? Was that Sanji calling out Zoro's name? Nami slowly backed away from the door, her heart beating rapidly, as she felt a small trickle of blood from her nose. She quickly made her way back to the ship and cleaned herself up. She didn't say anything, but couldn't help but blush furiously the next few times she saw the swordsman or the cook…especially when they were both in the same room.

Brook found out after a long night of music and festivities with the crew. He had gone up to the crow's nest, instead of to the boy's sleeping quarters, hoping to get a little bit of quiet for a few hours. He had been looking out the window, and must have fallen asleep, because before he knew it he was waking up to the sound of hushed voices…he was about to say something, to make his presence known, when he heard the distinct sounds of clothes being taken off and discarded on the floor. It became obvious to him that the two in the room couldn't see him, he was a skeleton after all, he disappeared quite easily behind the wrack of dumbbells sitting in front of him. He didn't particularly want to overhear what came next, but he didn't have the heart to interrupt either…sex was a beautiful thing after all, and who was he to cock block anyone? It didn't take long to figure out who the two going at it were…and he had to admit, he wasn't that surprised. As much as Sanji might dote on the ladies, Brook always thought he was overcompensating for something…and as for Zoro, well he never seemed to show any interest in the fairer sex, so it really wasn't that much of a shock. 'Good for them', he thought, before trying to tune out the noises they were making by trying to compose a song in his head. He would go on to title the piece _An Ode to Secret Love._

Usopp found out one day when the ship was docked at an island. Zoro had drawn the short straw and was suppose to look after the ship while the rest of the crew explored the island. After getting a creepy vibe, Usopp had suddenly come down with one of his 'I don't want to get off the ship for fear of being consumed by monsters diseases', so he decided to sit this one out and stay on the ship. Obviously Zoro and Sanji hadn't realized that their sharpshooter had stayed behind, otherwise Usopp wouldn't have caught them making out on the deck. The two were luckily too wrapped up in each other to notice his presence and he was able to quietly sneak off the ship, all of a sudden coming down with a 'I would rather get eaten by a monster then get my faced kicked in, or my head chopped off, after getting caught witnessing my two male crewmates making out with each other, disease'.

Franky found out after the fifth time he had to fix the table in the kitchen. Each time Sanji approached him to fix it; he always had some wild excuse as to what happened to it. The cyborg didn't mind at first, but he didn't appreciate his handy work being disrespected like that, and it got to the point where he thought Sanji, or somebody, was breaking the table on purpose. So, much like Chopper had, Franky snuck into the kitchen one night after dinner, and was able to conceal himself in the sick bay, because he was far to big to fit in the pantry. And much like Chopper it didn't take him long to discover exactly _how_ it was that the table kept getting broken. But unlike Chopper whose reaction was shock and slight horror, Franky had to suppress a laugh. The whole thing was just so unexpected and ridiculous that it was funny. He would keep things quiet for now, not wanting to betray them by saying anything, but he would look forward to the day that things were out in the open, then he could tease the two men to his heart's content. Not in a malicious way of course, for he held no judgments for what his two crewmates decided to do.

Luffy was the last to find out, him being the most oblivious on the ship, but as oblivious as he may have been, there was no mistaking what he had witnessed. It had been late at night, when he fancied himself a snack. He knew that the refrigerator was locked, but he thought that maybe tonight was his lucky night, and he would finally guess the code. He had already tried several hundred combinations, but he wouldn't quit until he cracked it! But unlike usual, the kitchen for some reason had been locked…Sanji never usually locked up the entire kitchen at night, so his instinct was to investigate the situation. He considered breaking the door down, but knew both Franky and Sanji would get mad at him for that, and he would rather avoid a beating if at all possible. So he figured he would just take advantage of his devil fruit power and stretched his neck around to one of the side windows, where hopefully he could see what was going on. At first everything had appeared dark, and it took his eyes a few moments to adjust before he could see anything. Slowly thing began to come into focus, including the kitchen, the bar, the table, and Zoro and Sanji wrestling on top of the table. Why would Sanji lock the door just to wrestle with Zoro? They all wrestled with each other all the time…it's not like it was a big deal. Maybe this was secret training they were doing in order to get the upper hand on him next time…well if that was the case, maybe he would ask Franky or Usopp to do some special late night wrestling with him so he could keep his skills sharp as well. But wait…since when did wrestling require you to take each other's clothes off? Was that some sort of new technique? But wait…since when did wrestling involve that much kissing? And why were their hands on each other's…hmmm he was beginning to think that this wasn't wrestling at all. After observing for another couple of seconds it finally clicked what was going on, and he quickly retreated his head before he could be seen. He stood there thinking over everything for a couple of moments before he shrugged it off. That kind of thing didn't really bother him, and as long as his nakama was happy, he was happy…if only they weren't in the kitchen, he sighed, heading back to the boy's sleeping quarters for the night, defeated in his mission of cracking the code. There was always tomorrow he thought, and then laughed to himself before thinking how glad he was that he realized what was going on and didn't go suggesting to Franky or Usopp that they do their own late night wrestling…

Sanji and Zoro lay next to each other, both trying to catch their breaths as they came down from their post orgasm high. They were currently in the crow's nest, one of their favorite places for their late night rendezvous, because hardly anyone went up there, other then Zoro to work out, and who ever it was on watch, and seeing as it was Sanji who was currently on watch, they figured they had the place to themselves. Not to mention they could hear anybody coming, and had more than enough time to redress themselves if need be. Yup, when it came to sneaking around, they were basically experts.

Sanji lit a cigarette, before rolling over and laying his head on Zoro's bare chest. The swordsman brought his hand up and began playing with the cook's hair. They both sighed in absolute contentment.

"Do you think anybody will ever figure out what's going on between us," Zoro randomly asked, continuing to play with the cook's hair.

"Nah," Sanji said, between drags of his cigarette, "we're too careful…besides, other then Robin and maybe Nami, they're all a bunch of idiots."

"You're probably right." Zoro nodded in agreement, before flipping the cook over and beginning round two.

Meanwhile down in the galley…

"Has anybody seen Sanji? I wanted to grab a few spices, and I know he hates when people touch anything in the kitchen without his permission." Nami asked when she walked into the room to find Robin, Usopp, Franky, Brook, Luffy and Chopper all sitting around the table.

"I'm pretty sure he's up in the crow's nest with Zoro right now…" Robin trailed off, not feeling the need to elaborate any further.

"They're doing it," Luffy said bluntly, causing Franky and Brook to laugh, Usopp to turn green, Chopper and Nami to blush, and Robin to roll her eyes.

"We all know that Luffy…you would have to be an idiot not to realize that." Usopp said, to which everyone else nodded in agreement.

Yup…you would have to be blind not to see it, and they had all known for quite a while. But they continued to keep their mouths shut, respecting their nakama more then to make them tell them something that they weren't ready for. They hoped the two would feel comfortable enough to come clean eventually, but for now, their not so secret, secret relationship, would remain a 'secret' for however long they needed.


End file.
